following directions

The other day I freaked out and ordered a bunch of stuff for Baby O [new nickname ala my co-worker's kids]. Today I got the pack and play amongst a host of other things that Lady had to examine and be suspicious about. She's watching you, diaper pail! 

Our previous try at a temporary sleep solution took us two days to assemble [someone doesn't utilize instructions], so when we ordered this one J said "you put it together." 

Challenge accepted! It wasn't a challenge though. It took about 5 minutes. The instructions were just pictures with arrows. Needless to say, I'm happy we exchanged the old one for this one. 

Lady was a big help as you can see. I'd be lost without her. 

36 weeks!

We made it to 36 weeks!  I can officially do whatever I want.  Go to a rave?  Ok!  Bungee jump?  Go for it.  Go to work?  Yeah, that probably isn't going to happen.  Along with the other things, since I can barely walk around Target without feeling like my feet are going to fall off and like my back is breaking.  Plus I don't feel safe being this pregnant around potentially violent adolescents.  And walking around on ice/slush/snow.  I almost fell last night on our friend's driveway leaving their Super Bowl party.  Justin yelled at me.  Because I was trying to fall down...

I have my first exam for school this week, so hopefully I can get that taken without Ollie intervening beforehand.  I do have to say, these contractions are getting stronger.

I especially noticed them today when I was out putting together the perfect outfit for this kid for my older brother's wedding in April.  It may seem like I'm rushing a little bit but apparently this is how I nest, plus I had a coupon.  This is what I came up with.

Best dressed baby in the history of all the babies.

He can come any day now, he's allowed.  No one is going to stop him.  We'll see iff he wants to cook longer or if he wants to bust out to freedom.  I know which one I'm hoping for...

fridizzle

There are so many reasons that I'm glad it's Friday. For one, I get Justin all weekend. We can finish our monster of a guest bathroom. We can eat breakfast. We can make smoothies [that might just be me. Hello smoothie kick.] We can tandem do homework. Ahh like the good old days when we met. But I think he did the homework and I played solitaire on his computer while singing along to whatever was on his iTunes. 

For the record. 20 year old Justin had the BEST iTunes library. From excellent rap remixes circa 1994 to Freebird to everything Kenny Chesney ever sang. 

Tonight we're going out to dinner with friends to celebrate being almost 36 weeks. But also one friend has a birthday tomorrow. And also we're halfway through the worst two months of the year [I loathe the uarys]. So hell! Let's celebrate. Except Megan's clothes don't fit... 

Sunday is the Super Bowl so I'm making a crock pot 'o' chili and we're trucking over to a Super Bowl party to eat and carry on. However, I doubt I'll eat much. I'm still weirded out by chili and my appetite wanes as the day goes on. I heard a rumor that there might be a smoked rib cook off though. Justin is excited. And dang I want a smoker. 

Ollie is getting bigger by the day. My stomach and liver can attest to that. And the contractions are starting to change too. A little bit more pain is coming with them now and a couple of them made my face flush and I got too hot. Weird. I'm pretty certain he has dropped, or is dropping because my belly looks lower and my heartburn isn't such a nuclear burn anymore. We have an appointment next Tuesday to check positioning and do the dreaded swabs [shudder]. I'm half tempted to have them check and see if there are any changes, since I'll be disrobed anyways... We'll see. And now I leave you with this. 

Someone needed attention. 

817

There were 817 photos on my iPhone when I emptied it this evening.  That's a lot considering I've done NOTHING lately...  I'd say 87% of them were of a certain pit bull that is currently trying to get into trouble in the kitchen.  Here are some of my favorites.

Bathroom mirror situations.  I can't resist a huge mirror...

Various Lady Pictures

This...

Friends!

He's still so cute.  Can't wait to meet him!

Lady needing a cuddle.

Little green jeans.  I'm dying.

35 weeks pregnant and I accomplished this.  Proud?

The nursery coming along.

And the real user of the pregnancy pillow.  Sorry she's not sorry.

email of desperation

I sent this to my mom last night.  It explains how crazy pregnancy hormones are.

[censored version]

The following are reasons why I am going to lose my $h!7:

1. The faucet drip drip dripping. It's becoming more frequent and louder. It's like the crocodile with the clock in his belly and I'm Captain Hook. My mustache is twitching.

2. I have an intense amount of acid that's trying to make me vomit. Every burp is perilous. I took a tums. The 34$74rd was orange flavored. I hate orange flavor.

3. Did I tell you I bombed a quiz today. I'm so pissed about it.

4. My stove. The jerk stays clean for 5 minutes and then is dirty again. Why did anyone think white appliances were a good idea.

5. I'm gestating a baboon. He is swinging off my entrails like they're vines. Also he has the hiccups again. Their rhythm doesn't match the dripping of the faucet. Which. Makes. Me. Crazy.

6. I cleaned out three dresser drawers tonight, but my dang closet is still making me crazy.

7. Everything hurts. Every time I move, it hurts.

8. Laundry. I did four loads today and I already have another load I could do tomorrow. And I never change clothes. So is lady wearing my clothes??

9. I'm so jacked up right now that all I can think about is how bad I want to clean. Kitchen cabinet overhaul namely. And I want to scrub under my house plants [what the heck?!?] but I am also tired.

Seriously though. I might be up in the middle of the night scrubbing under houseplants.

Can I be done being pregnant now?

Drip.

Drip.
Hiccup.

Drip.

Hicdripcup.

Losing. My. $h!7. Up. In. Here.