uodate

If this baby doesn't come before tomorrow [friday] at 8am then COMMENCE INDUCTION! Not my favorite outcome of this lovely pregnancy but it's nice to have a finite end in sight. They'll start with the least chemical method and work up from that. 

I'm hoping this kid hops on the lets get born train and comes before any inducing needs to take place. I've been contracting fairly consistently all night. It's now 5 am and they're still around. Even after trying to distract myself with toast and Game of Thrones [snore]. I should mention that all night means since 1:49 am which is when I woke up. And have been awake since then. I just thought of all the things I need to do. I need to write an instruction sheet out about Lady the idiot. I need to buy bananas. Etc. Also, why is the bananas thing keeping me awake? Seriously brain. Go. To. Sleep. 

Whenever this kid comes, I'm excited. I'm getting a little nervous for the hard parts of labor and recovery but I'm so sooo excited to have this little squirmy out. He's going to be adorable. Plus I won't be pregnant for the first time in a jillion years. Hooray! 

Oh Oliver. Come out please? The 13th is a great day to be born. Just ask Alivia [happy birthday Alivia!], aunt Carrie your great aunt Carrie I guess.., and all the other people that were born today. Not a bad one in the bunch. 

I should try and sleep. I hear that's going to be hard to come by in the next couple months. 

This happened yesterday. I couldn't believe I could button it. Especially after my belly grew 3cm from last week. Wwwhat?!? Also ignore the dog remote. We've been taking this obedience thing a lot more seriously now that our little guy will be here any day. She has to learn that she can't superman whatever she wants. And no butt runs in the house. Dang I wish I had video evidence of a butt run. It's simultaneously the funniest and stupidest thing that Lady does. 

in which my dog destroys her neon green bone to make me crazy

Seriously.  I get the dustbuster out to clean up those tiny green particles that she spreads across the carpeting and she goes right back at it.  It's like she has a vendetta against clean floors.  Actually, I'm pretty sure that's 100% true.  Shame on me for buying her the neon green bone I guess...

Have I mentioned I'm still pregnant?  According to the midwives I'm 40 weeks and 3 days pregnant today.  But in my heart, I know I'm 39 weeks and 5 days pregnant, so stick that in your ear midwives.  But don't, because you're so kind.  The one I met with today told me not to even worry about talking about induction until next week.  She and the other midwife are convinced that this little guy will come on his own terms.  I guess they would know better than me.  I don't let them tell me my progress when they check me because I don't want to get all up in my head about it and stall labor more.  Or just be crazy about it.  

I'm thankful that he waited for me to finish my exam for school.  I got a 90 on it, and not to be braggy, but I feel pretty bombass about that.  I'm technically "overdue" and I was able to get an A on a test in a very hard class.  Boom.  But now that that's out of the way, let's get things going kid!  I even got ahead in my other class last night to try and be ahead of the game.  For the record, what is it about 1 credit classes being the biggest time suck of all?  What a joke.  The hoops that I have to jump through to earn one credit makes me want to go crazy.  Hopefully I can get far enough ahead so as to finish this class early.  Fingers crossed.  

Justin is getting antsy for our baby to arrive too.  Every morning he asks me if today is the day.  And every morning I say with quite a lot of conviction that no, it isn't.  I have no idea when this kid will come, just that everyone is starting to drive me crazy by asking.  Especially the pastor, whose calls I have been ignoring for weeks.  Those ones bother me the most.  

If I don't have this baby tomorrow, I'm getting myself some Fro-yo.  It's going to be delicious.  Peanut butter and espresso please.

Is that weird?

zen

Today marks 40 weeks pregnant. 40 weeks is 10 months. That's almost a year. Today marks 40 weeks pregnant and I'm 99% sure I will be pregnant when I wake up tomorrow. And for the first time in almost a year, I'm fine with that. 

I'm in awe that I made it all the way to the end. At 29 weeks I was scared he'd come any day. I beat myself up and asked the cosmos why my body wasn't made for pregnancy? Why couldn't I do this? But today I'm 40 weeks pregnant. And I did it. My body can be pregnant. It can grow a healthy, wild, funny little boy all the way until whenever that boy decides to join us on the outside. He's so much like both Justin and me already it's almost eerie. And the fact that I can pin point his certain personality traits is eerie too. But we've spent almost a year together. Both of us growing and changing simultaneously. He's active like his dad. An early riser like his dad. He's fiercely stubborn like both of us. And he absolutely will not be rushed, like his mother. I feel like we're on the same page today. He's saying to me, "mom I'm coming, just give me some time." And I know what that means. He'll get here when he's supposed to. I'm completely at peace with that. Namaste pregnancy. 

Namaste Lady too. 

snnnnooooow

I'm tired of snow.  We've absolutely gotten dumped on this year.  I can barely see out of the driveway when I pull out the snow is piled so high.  When I went to let Lady out this morning, she saw it was snowing and started shivering before she was even outside.  She's pathetic.  Have I mentioned that yet?
Also I'm 38 weeks pregnant now.  That's a lot of weeks.  I thought I was in labor last night after walking around with my friend at the mall for two hours, but no luck.  The contractions stopped for no reason at all.  What a disappointment!

Now I need to be positive about something.  Hmmm.  I slept from about 10 pm to 3:57 am without waking up once last night!  Which is amazing.  Lady and I didn't really get in a fight today.  Which is also amazing.  It's only just now getting dark at 5:55 pm, bringing hope to the future that spring may come.  Also we have warm weather in the future!  [35 degrees is pretty much tropical after this winter].  Let's melt that snow!

Bump update:

Pardon the shirt that doesn't fit.  I have about 2 shirts that fit.  I wish I was kidding...

This is what we did all day.  When it isn't sunny out, she decides she's allowed on the couch.  She was in bed, but got lonely and started crying and had to come down to join me.  Seriously, pathetic.

happy valentine's day

I'm making a flipping ice cream cake.

I told Justy B. if this baby didn't come by today, I was making a dang ice cream cake.  Except I sent it via text.  And when I text, I spell things wrong.  And one of the things I spell wrong is ice cream.  My texting brain thinks it's one word [it also thinks "every time" is one word.  It's a phenomenon I cannot explain].  I accidentally taught my phone to spell "ice cream" as one word.  However I taught it in caps lock so I told Justin:

If this baby isn't here by Friday, I'm making a dang ICECREAM cake

Anyways.  Layer one is in the freezer.  I bought gluten free chocolate cookies to make into fudgie crunchies.  This is going to be unhealthy.  And contribute to the three pounds I gained in the past week.  Seriously, I'm winning at gaining weight.  I can't wait for dessert.  I don't even care about dinner.  Which is steak on the grill.  Which we're having because I love Justin.  I'm still not sure how I feel about the grill.

Also we meet with the doula tomorrow.  And I'm going to try and find someone to walk around the mall with me.  And I'm getting a pedicure next week.  And I'm in such a better mood today and yesterday than I've been in lately about being pregnant.  Also, don't even start a sentence with the word "and".

For a final comment on the day, when I was at the old Hyvee grocery store, there was a creepyish guy walking around with ZERO groceries.  He just kept popping up.  He gave me those creepy, skeeved out feelings.  I was on the phone with my mom, so someone would know if I got abducted.  Although I'd be an annoying adductee, all pregnant and whiney like this.  Anyway, as I was walking to find some tea tree oil, I looked ahead of me and lo!  There he was, with his hand down the back of his pants scratching his bum.  And now you're skeeved too.

on your mark...get set...wait an indefinite amount of time.

Welp. 37 weeks. Here we are. You and me and a baby still cooking in my belly. Today I unsubscribed from Motherhood Maternity emails, which I'm sure cemented this gestational period as lasting until 152 weeks. I'm just done. I have zero maternity clothes on today, which means I have the underbelly of a fat alcoholic bald man. And I'm ok with that. I'm not going anywhere. 

The only labor signs I've had are all fake. The backaches and hip pain, cramping, nausea, over emotional states, and extreme anxiety about repotting my houseplants are just nothing. I figured out yesterday that I'm never going to have this baby. I'll be pregnant until the fat lady sings and the cows come home and until I can think of another cliche. Which will take forever because I'm too tired. 

Ollie is flipping and flopping around my uterus like a pinball. Left and right. High and low. He's well acquainted with my liver and my bladder. He's made friends. Plus it's warm in there. Why leave? 

I realize that pregnancies last 38-42 weeks. And that I technically have anywhere from 3-5 weeks left but holy cow. I didn't realize the 5 weeks part actually. Excuse me while I go cry. Do jumping jacks. Hold a seance. Eat a whole pineapple. Etcetera and so forth. Can you tell I'm getting desperate? 

Zero effort put forth towards my appearance. 

Lady is tired of being pregnant too. Also she gets the pillow when I'm done with it, right?

following directions

The other day I freaked out and ordered a bunch of stuff for Baby O [new nickname ala my co-worker's kids]. Today I got the pack and play amongst a host of other things that Lady had to examine and be suspicious about. She's watching you, diaper pail! 

Our previous try at a temporary sleep solution took us two days to assemble [someone doesn't utilize instructions], so when we ordered this one J said "you put it together." 

Challenge accepted! It wasn't a challenge though. It took about 5 minutes. The instructions were just pictures with arrows. Needless to say, I'm happy we exchanged the old one for this one. 

Lady was a big help as you can see. I'd be lost without her. 

36 weeks!

We made it to 36 weeks!  I can officially do whatever I want.  Go to a rave?  Ok!  Bungee jump?  Go for it.  Go to work?  Yeah, that probably isn't going to happen.  Along with the other things, since I can barely walk around Target without feeling like my feet are going to fall off and like my back is breaking.  Plus I don't feel safe being this pregnant around potentially violent adolescents.  And walking around on ice/slush/snow.  I almost fell last night on our friend's driveway leaving their Super Bowl party.  Justin yelled at me.  Because I was trying to fall down...

I have my first exam for school this week, so hopefully I can get that taken without Ollie intervening beforehand.  I do have to say, these contractions are getting stronger.

I especially noticed them today when I was out putting together the perfect outfit for this kid for my older brother's wedding in April.  It may seem like I'm rushing a little bit but apparently this is how I nest, plus I had a coupon.  This is what I came up with.

Best dressed baby in the history of all the babies.

He can come any day now, he's allowed.  No one is going to stop him.  We'll see iff he wants to cook longer or if he wants to bust out to freedom.  I know which one I'm hoping for...

fridizzle

There are so many reasons that I'm glad it's Friday. For one, I get Justin all weekend. We can finish our monster of a guest bathroom. We can eat breakfast. We can make smoothies [that might just be me. Hello smoothie kick.] We can tandem do homework. Ahh like the good old days when we met. But I think he did the homework and I played solitaire on his computer while singing along to whatever was on his iTunes. 

For the record. 20 year old Justin had the BEST iTunes library. From excellent rap remixes circa 1994 to Freebird to everything Kenny Chesney ever sang. 

Tonight we're going out to dinner with friends to celebrate being almost 36 weeks. But also one friend has a birthday tomorrow. And also we're halfway through the worst two months of the year [I loathe the uarys]. So hell! Let's celebrate. Except Megan's clothes don't fit... 

Sunday is the Super Bowl so I'm making a crock pot 'o' chili and we're trucking over to a Super Bowl party to eat and carry on. However, I doubt I'll eat much. I'm still weirded out by chili and my appetite wanes as the day goes on. I heard a rumor that there might be a smoked rib cook off though. Justin is excited. And dang I want a smoker. 

Ollie is getting bigger by the day. My stomach and liver can attest to that. And the contractions are starting to change too. A little bit more pain is coming with them now and a couple of them made my face flush and I got too hot. Weird. I'm pretty certain he has dropped, or is dropping because my belly looks lower and my heartburn isn't such a nuclear burn anymore. We have an appointment next Tuesday to check positioning and do the dreaded swabs [shudder]. I'm half tempted to have them check and see if there are any changes, since I'll be disrobed anyways... We'll see. And now I leave you with this. 

Someone needed attention. 

internal assault

I've been under an internal assault.  This kid is out of room, and we have weeks and weeks to go.  

He's been hooking his feet under my ribs and dangling.

He sticks his limbs waaaay out my belly.

He's so big that he smashes into my stomach making me mad nauseous and causing heartburn so real that it wakes me up at one in the morning whimpering.  I had to sit up last night to try and coax the acid back down.  

My ribs hurt.  My back hurts.  My hips hurt.  My pelvis hurts.  

I'm done.  6 weeks left and I'm done.

How long have I been saying that?

The stripes make it look even bigger.  It has 6 weeks left to grow.

Also I gained almost 4 pounds in two weeks by having no appetite.  I have a true talent.

on sharing your pregnancy pillow

My pit bull thinks she's pregnant. Naturally. She sleeps all day long, after having slept all night. She expects to be waited on hand and foot. And worst of all, she expects to be allowed full use of my huge pregnancy pillow whenever her little heart desires. Which is often.

We're currently sharing it. I'm lucky I got her to move for long enough to squeeze myself into a spot. She's sleeping like a champ. I'm not. 

My graduate school classes started yesterday and I'm already overwhelmed about how I'm going to keep up with everything and take care of a baby. I just keep telling myself that it's been done before. 

We hit 33 weeks this week. I can't believe how much better my attitude is about 33 weeks than it was about 32. I got over the hump and now it all seems downhill from here. Except for the sharp incline right at the very end.... Oh we'll make it. And it will be wonderful!

Check out my killer puppy pants. Be jealous. 

Pregnancy pillow love. 

Lady needed a hug the other night. Seriously, too cute. 

thursday state of mind

It's already Thursday!  Praise the Lord!  That means one more day until I don't have to spend my whole day with just a pit bull.  She's not always the most social, although she did entertain me for about five minutes today when she tried to convince herself that she likes green peppers.  She tried her darndest, but could not get herself to chew it.

Tuesday was my midwife appointment and it also happened to be the day that Justin's friend's  wife gave birth to her little boy.  To say that I was green with envy would be the greatest understatement of the century.  I was so jealous and down on myself that I cried multiple times throughout the day and was ready to give up.  Why did she get to be cuddling her little boy and I had to suffer through this discomfort, just laying around for another eight weeks?  Poor Justin had to eat left overs for dinner when he got home to his moping wife.  He was so sweet about everything and told me that I was doing a good job, which always makes me feel better.

I got over my bad attitude finally, and channeled Scarlett O'hara yesterday and today and I've had a much better attitude.  Today I visited my doula and got another abdominal therapy.  I was worried it would cause me to have contractions, but it did the opposite.  My uterus hasn't been so calm in weeks.  It's back to its usual antics now, but I think that those therapies will be really beneficial.  Plus my sweet, wonderful doula made me feel better about being only 32 weeks along by making it seem like I don't have an eternity left in this.  She also reassured me that my child will not be neurotic from this crazy pregnancy [a very real fear I had].  And then that my next pregnancies won't be this hard.  I hope so much that that's true!

The theme of my next couple of days are GOOD ATTITUDE!  Plus I get to go meet Justin's friend's baby this weekend and I'm just jumping out of my skin to get a little preview of what it's going to feel like in a couple months.  Also I'm going to make banana bread.  How can you not have a good attitude when banana bread is involved?

blog from bed

Because I'm beat and my back hurts.

I may have dusted today.  And I may have wiped up the kitchen twice... or thrice.  I've lost track.  I also may have started the laundry, and baked two dozen monster cookies.  But no one can be sure.  Lady is my only witness, and she'll never tell.  Plus she stayed in bed until 12:30 pm today.  She hates the cold.

When I got up, it was 18 degrees below zero with a windchill of -43!  Hooo mama that's cold!  It's currently 11 below with a windchill of -37.  It's this horrid out and I didn't even notice until after noon that I forgot to turn my heat up, it was only 61 in the house.  I turned it up for Lady, but I felt fine.  Being pregnant is weird, have I mentioned that?

Tomorrow I have my 32 week appointment.  I can't believe it's so soon.  I feel like I was just there.  I doubt they'll tell me anything new.  They'll just tell me to hang in there and keep resting.  I hate resting  I felt like garbage all weekend.  Today was the first time I've felt good since Thursday.  I honestly thought I was in labor the other night because my contractions were so uncomfortable and regular.  Luckily they stopped being uncomfortable, went back to their normal selves,  and I was able to sleep.  I'm so excited to meet my little guy and have him outside.  It's amazing that I'm growing this little human, but I'm getting ready to meet him.  I had a meltdown last night that I technically still have 20 percent of this pregnancy left.  That feels like eons, despite the fact that 80 percent of it is behind me.  20 percent is still a decent chunk.  Plus I still have to make it through the delivery!

Our bathroom is making progress.  Justin sheet-rocked this weekend, so there are no more gaping holes in my wall.  It's beautiful.  I can't wait to get it all painted and put in our new toilet and vanity topper.  It's going to be a classy little guest bathroom.  Justin found the most perfect farmhouse near Des Moines yesterday and emailed it to me.  Naturally, I'm heartbroken because there's no way we could move there now and by the time we do get to move it'll be gone.  It's the house of my dreams.  Oh perhaps someday we'll find another...

Weekend phone pictures, etc. COMMENCE!

Lady needed to cuddle hardcore this weekend.  And pillows were a necessity.  Please excuse the dog toys and clean laundry.  

Extremely blurry.  And orange.  But here's the bump at 32 weeks.  80% there.  It still has 20% to grow.  Oh yikes!

two thousand fourteen

As per usual, I've made the resolute resolution to not make a New Year's resolution this year.  It's not my thing.  I fail myself all too often, and I'm hard enough on myself already.

This year looks like it's the year though.  The big one.  2012 was pretty big.  I had my first career.  I married the man of my dreams.  We bought our first house.  And got a mangy pit bull that turned into a beautiful stripey doofus of a pit bull with some love and nourishment.  2013 was a rebuilding year.  I tried to get healthy in the beginning, and then felt like it all came crumbling down when I had a cyst rupture on my ovary.  My Gram died in March, which wasn't unexpected, but it was significant nonetheless.  Then once barely recovered from the cyst explosion, and while riding the waves of a vegan diet gone horribly wrong leaving me feeling even more unhealthy, we found out about our little baby growing within me.

Both of us were scared.  We were concerned that the pregnancy wouldn't hold.  My body was a mess.  I had spent the last two months wracked with anxiety [the combination of a very bad situation at work and the scary cyst rupture did my nerves in], I lost a significant amount of weight and was registering on the BMI chart as "underweight."  Could my body take it?  It obviously hasn't been easy.  Luckily the Zofran helped me gain weight, and gain, and gain.  And the anxiety has slowly dissipated [though I fear that may be due to the pregnancy hormones and I worry it will come back with a vengeance when Ollie gets here].  None of the medical professionals were worried at all.  And I had no complications in early pregnancy.  If it hadn't been for the nausea, I would have been convinced at my 12 week ultrasound that there was no way I was growing another human.  But alas.  He was there.  Moving around more than I could have imagined, but not surprising me in the slightest just confirming that he is his father's busy child.

We found out he was for sure a he.  We've had our scares, but we have made it to 2014.  Still pregnant.  Thankfully, still pregnant.  We need to hold out for a few more weeks and then we can have our little guy whenever he's ready to make an appearance.  My dream would be that I could have as natural of a birth as possible, but if it requires medical intervention to make it safer, so be it.  I just want my guy safe.  In two weeks I start grad school.

So my un-resolutions overall are to be the best person I can be to be the best wife, mother, dog mother, student, etc. I'm doing this for me.  I'm going to try and be healthier, but that's always the goal, isn't it?  We took a step in that direction by purchasing a half of a cow and throwing it [with ridiculously pregnancy inspired organized fashion] in the most glorious and HUGE deep freeze we could buy.  I reasoned with Justin we needed a huge freezer because I plan on producing a lot of boob juice.  I'd like to start a backyard garden this year not only to be self-sufficient and try and save money on vegetables, but also to encourage myself to be outside in the sun to help myself and Ollie soak up some vitamin D.  We're getting a beautiful stroller with off road tires so that we can go on walks with our stripy pit bull both on our street and on the amazing trails by our house.  I've had such a hard time being positive that I'm going to try and see the best in situations instead of my normal drama queen meltdowns.  That one will require years of work, Rome wasn't built in a day...

This year will be hard.  No doubt about that.  The first month not being allowed to work.  Sitting at home trying not to be depressed about being bored.  Then finishing up a hard pregnancy and dealing with the sure exhaustion that comes with being new parents.  School is going to be harder than I can even imagine right now, especially with the aforementioned exhaustion.  Pathophysiology is no joke.  That being said, I'm ready.  I feel I've mentally prepared for what's ahead as much as possible and the rest of it is just going to be a complete leap of faith.  Let's do this 2014.

truth

Here are some sad truths about my life right now:

 

1. If I wake up before 9 am I'm going to need a nap. Like turn into a walking zombie and Justin orders me to bed type of nap. 

2. The only section of Pinterest that I browse anymore is food. Seriously. I will take all of the desserts please?

3. I sit down to eat and it takes forever because there's no room. 

4. A lot of times when I burp, I'm pretty sure it's vomit. 

5. My stomach moves on its own accord. Obviously it's Ollie, but it's freaky looking. 

6. It's New Year's Eve. We were invited to two parties. I did my hair AND make up and now I'm laying in bed too exhausted to move. We might rent a movie. I can't wait for what we have coming in 2014, and I can't wait to not be pregnant. It's going to be so much more fun having this little guy on the outside than in. 

On that note I'm hungry, but nauseous and not really hungry. This is so confusing. 

Lady is loving bed rest. 

30 weeks

We made it to 30 weeks!  Cross that off the list.  It feels so good to have another week under our belts.  Our midwife appointment was this morning, and she basically told us that as long as nothing changes we're good to go.  Good to go meaning I'm not really supposed to work for the next 6 weeks and I'm supposed to be waited on and not do too much.  But no real need to worry that Baby Boy will come before 36 weeks.  What a relief.  I was so nervous before the appointment that I was nauseated and had a stomach ache.  She put our minds at ease.  Plus the little guy measured good and was kicking around in my belly.

Although I feel a little useless not being able to go to work for the next 6 weeks, and fear that I'll be EXTREMELY bored, I'm relieved to have the time to just rest and cook this guy.  Not sure my co-workers see it that way, but seriously, who cares about work when your little human needs you?  The midwife said we can talk about my going to work after I hit 36 weeks, but that I don't necessarily have to.  We shall see... I'll either be bored or wanting to earn a little more money since I sure won't be making any during this leave!

And now I don't know what to do about grad school.  I have about two weeks to make a decision.  Goodness knows what I'll decide on that one.  For right now I'm just going to enjoy the lights on my tiny 2 foot tall Christmas tree.  And wish that I didn't scarf down two Christmas cookies...  The in-laws come in town tonight and I'm excited to get our modified Christmas off to a start!

Happy Christmas!

Lady believes that since we're supposed to be taking it easy, she's allowed on the couch again...  It's hard to say no when she just wants to snuggle.

My text from my own personal Scrooge at the grocery store.  Please note, I do not take offense to the phrase "calm your tits."  I started that one.  Should stop soon before the kid gets here.

no news

Is good news. Right? And I'm hoping the slight increase in contractions today doesn't trigger anything. Yesterday was a really good day, contractionwise. I don't know why today is worse. Maybe it's the 5-9 inches of snow we're about to get. According to the radar though, we might not get any of it? 

I've been doing nothing these last couple days. For one because being up and about triggers stronger contractions, and for two because I'm so absolutely exhausted. I woke up today at 8:30 and then took an hour and a half long nap later. I've done nothing all day, but could fall asleep in a second. 

Luckily for me, unluckily for my mom, we had a little ice storm on Thursday night that delayed her leaving until this morning. It was nice to have her here an extra day. She was so much help and made so much delicious food. We'll have left overs for at least another day or two. 

Tomorrow we were supposed to go to Justin's grandparents house for their big family Christmas celebration, but we have been strongly discouraged from traveling [the midwife said "I can't tell you not to go, but I recommend that you don't."] obviously we're taking the safe route. I hate missing out on the celebration. Then we were supposed to go to spend Christmas in his hometown and then travel to a cabin. No one wants me to give birth in the black hills however, so we changed our plans. Instead his family will come here on Monday night and we'll have our Christmas low key. I'm already working on the menu [that I'm not really allowed to help prepare according to J and his mom] and we decorated tonight. -Ahem- "decorated" being used loosely. 

I'm jumping out of my boots to see what the midwife tells us on Monday about everything. 

And now, the most pathetic pitbull. 

Lady did NOT want to pose in front of the tree. 

Helping wrap gifts. 

She thinks it's rough being pregnant too...

on my mind

There's 39 days until I hit 35 weeks pregnant. It's so bizarre after having my goal date be March 3rd to all of the sudden hoping we can make it to January 27th, and even better February 3rd. After yesterday, that seems like an eternity. I contracted fairly strong last night for quite a while but was able to fall asleep and then they calmed down. 

I used to be worried about bringing a teeny month old baby to my brother's wedding in April. Now I'm praying that he'll be only a month old. 

Justin put me on bedrest today... He said no getting up unless I need to eat or pee and my mom agreed with him. They don't care that I've read articles and studies that show bedrest doesn't necessarily work for prevention of preterm labor. Not going to lie, my contraction strength triples when I'm on my feet. 

Lady was cut out for bedrest. She's sleeping next to my knees [after a hearty attempt to share my pregnancy pillow]

And finally, I've been reading on how to avoid preterm labor naturally, so these are the steps I'm taking to try and help:

-Upping my protein intake

-drinking a crap ton of water. I think I had 108 oz yesterday. 

-continuing on my magnesium supplementation. I take 800-1200 mg daily anyways. 

-continuing with Epsom salt baths, since Epsom salt is magnesium sulfate and that's what they were threatening to give me at the hospital. 

-adding more vitamin C to my diet. Thank goodness it's citrus fruit season!

-taking 1000mg of calcium daily which I read can lessen contractions. 

-drinking kefir to improve my bacterial flora overall. This goes along with my daily probiotic. I read an article that said people with celiac disease have less probiotics in them so I'm trying to ramp that up. It's also been found that not having the proper vaginal flora can cause preterm labor so I'm not taking any risks. 

-upping my fish oil intake to 2 caps per day. Ew. But I read it can help prevent preterm labor. 

-and finally, relaxing. Trying not to stress or be anxious because that automatically makes the contractions worse. 

Hopefully this does the trick and I carry my little guy to March 10th if that's how long he feels like cooking!

whirlwind at 29 weeks

Never when I took this picture on Monday morning did I imagine that I'd be in the hospital 12 hours later in pre-term labor.  

I'd been having contractions on and off since last Thursday, but I figured I was just tired/dehydrated/worked myself to hard.  So I would lay down.  On Monday at lunch I was talking with a co-worker and mentioned my contractions and she said "call your doctor, NOW! I didn't realize I could have contractions at 24 weeks and I ended up in the hospital in pre-term labor."  That scared me so I told myself if the contractions came back, I'd call.  I let Justin know my plan.  By about 1:30 pm they were back with a vengeance.  According to my contraction timer app, I had 9 in about 30 minutes.  Red alert!  I went and told my boss that I was calling my midwife and I'd keep him updated.  Sure enough they sent me straight home from work and told me to lay down.  If I had more than 6 in an hour to call back and then head straight to the hospital.

I chose not to count the 4 I had on my way home and started counting once I was laying down in bed.  In 40 minutes, I'd tracked another 9 contractions, as I reached for my phone to call the midwife, the nurse called me to check on me.  I updated her and she said go straight in, I'll let them know you're on your way.  

We got to the hospital pretty much empty handed.  I brought my insurance cards, but that was it, never imagining I'd have to stay over night.  I figured they would monitor the contractions, maybe give me an IV bolus of fluids and send me on my happy way.  Boy was I wrong.  I was put on the monitor [which baby G hated] and was immediately given two big glasses of ice water and instructed to "drink these right now!"  So I chugged them down.  Then the IV went in, just in case I wasn't getting enough water in.  This was after I had already had 2 liters of fluid to drink during the day, and based on my urine sample, I was pretty darn hydrated.  All of the sudden the doctor comes in, which confused me because I'm a midwife patient, and she checked my cervix.  Luckily it was long and closed but she could feel baby's head low in my pelvis so she ordered me to start nifedipine sublingual 4 doses in 2 hours and then ampicillin intravenous every 6 hours plus two betamethasone shots for baby's lungs to mature in case he decided to come early.

That scared me.  Seriously?  We're already at the steroid shots for lung development point!?!  Then they told me if my cervix changed at all, I had earned myself a one-way ambulance ride to the University of Iowa two hours away from here.  I diligently took my sublingual nifedipine, even though it tasted like a combination of burnt sesame seeds and cough syrup.  I received my antibiotics.  And I took the shot like a champ [False, I took it like a baby.  That shot burns for about 20 minutes after you get it and then remains achey for hours.] 

We waited to see what happened.  Justin went home and got a few essential items since it was clear we weren't going anywhere for the rest of the night.  I continued drinking and wasn't allowed to eat anything, not that I was hungry.  Though my contractions continued to carry on throughout the night at 1-3 minutes apart, my cervix stayed stubbornly closed and long [good girl!] and eventually baby moved up out of my pelvis [good boy!] I barely slept since I was worried, and was awoken every two hours for medicine or alarms going off.  

Come morning my cervix still hadn't changed, but neither had the contractions.  The goal was to take my 10:30 dose of nifedipine, thankfully in capsule form and no longer sublingual, and see if the contractions got worse if I got up to walk around a little.  I was off the monitor for an hour and made my grand trip down the hall about 20 feet to the ice machine, to the bathroom twice, and I folded two sweatshirts and a pair of leggings and put them in my overnight bag.  Then I sat up in bed and ate my lunch.  

They came in and put me back on the monitor and after a couple of minutes, everyone was in my room [doctor, midwife, nurse] "what did you do while you were up?!?" they asked me.  So I recounted and everyone was upset.  I had gone from having irregular contractions every 3-6 minutes apart [not including the teeny contractions that we all decided to ignore] to having mild to moderate contractions every 45 seconds.  I was distraught and immediately laid my bed down to rest.  Thankfully that did the trick and they calmed back down.  When Justin came to see me after work and I set my bed up slightly, they came back again so down I went.  

Luckily they calmed again and by 10:15 pm I was on my way home.  It was a full moon and I think they needed my room and felt better about the fact that we live so close to the hospital.  I was given strict instructions that if the contractions got stronger or if my water breaks to call back immediately and come in, duh... 

This whole ordeal has been a shock to our system.  I'm off work until after the new year and have an appointment on Monday to check on everything and to discuss my going back to work options.  The doctor said at least until after the new year, but the midwife was thinking more like not going back until I reach 35 weeks pregnant.  I'm not on bed rest, just rest.  No working around the house, just sitting.  Naturally someone that would love to nest is having a hard time with that.  My mom is coming down today to help out for a couple days and keep me company.  We were supposed to go to Justin's family's for Christmas and then up to South Dakota to a cabin that his parents rented for a few days.  That's not happening anymore, because I don't feel like giving birth to a 30 week old baby in the Black Hills.  I feel awful that we've ruined everyone's Christmas plans.  But we'll just have to adapt.  And keep our fingers crossed and prayers prayed that this little guy stays cooking for at least another 7 weeks, but even better if he goes longer.  Goodness, has being pregnant been an adventure so far!

Drinking my ice water.  For the record, hospitals have the BEST ice water.

The bottom line of bumps is my contractions.  These ones aren't even close to as frequent or strong as they got.

This little peanut had to sleep overnight in the garage, and then Tuesday morning was dropped off at the vet to be boarded for an unknown amount of time.  She was heartbroken, but the vet was so amazing and boarded her for free and gave her a free bath.  I'm so grateful to them!  Justin told them what was going on [they didn't even have a spot available for her!] and they said to bring her right in.  Apparently the vet had her baby 3 months early so understood the stress and scary times we were going through.  It makes me tear up every time I think about it.

quick little ditty

So. I know you can't really do this, but I've decided to change how far along I am... According to the midwife, on Monday I was 25 weeks pregnant. I measured 25 weeks pregnant. It's in my chart as 25 weeks pregnant. I however, have been stubborn the whole time because I believe I ovulated [gross, I used that word in a blog post!!] a couple days later than the midwife believes. I've decided to accept her due date at March 3rd but not give up the March 8th one in my heart while planning on giving birth the last week of February. I know, my first time pregnancy unrealistic dream.... 

So without further ado:

25 weeks pregnant Megan.