Oliver

two thousand fourteen

As per usual, I've made the resolute resolution to not make a New Year's resolution this year.  It's not my thing.  I fail myself all too often, and I'm hard enough on myself already.

This year looks like it's the year though.  The big one.  2012 was pretty big.  I had my first career.  I married the man of my dreams.  We bought our first house.  And got a mangy pit bull that turned into a beautiful stripey doofus of a pit bull with some love and nourishment.  2013 was a rebuilding year.  I tried to get healthy in the beginning, and then felt like it all came crumbling down when I had a cyst rupture on my ovary.  My Gram died in March, which wasn't unexpected, but it was significant nonetheless.  Then once barely recovered from the cyst explosion, and while riding the waves of a vegan diet gone horribly wrong leaving me feeling even more unhealthy, we found out about our little baby growing within me.

Both of us were scared.  We were concerned that the pregnancy wouldn't hold.  My body was a mess.  I had spent the last two months wracked with anxiety [the combination of a very bad situation at work and the scary cyst rupture did my nerves in], I lost a significant amount of weight and was registering on the BMI chart as "underweight."  Could my body take it?  It obviously hasn't been easy.  Luckily the Zofran helped me gain weight, and gain, and gain.  And the anxiety has slowly dissipated [though I fear that may be due to the pregnancy hormones and I worry it will come back with a vengeance when Ollie gets here].  None of the medical professionals were worried at all.  And I had no complications in early pregnancy.  If it hadn't been for the nausea, I would have been convinced at my 12 week ultrasound that there was no way I was growing another human.  But alas.  He was there.  Moving around more than I could have imagined, but not surprising me in the slightest just confirming that he is his father's busy child.

We found out he was for sure a he.  We've had our scares, but we have made it to 2014.  Still pregnant.  Thankfully, still pregnant.  We need to hold out for a few more weeks and then we can have our little guy whenever he's ready to make an appearance.  My dream would be that I could have as natural of a birth as possible, but if it requires medical intervention to make it safer, so be it.  I just want my guy safe.  In two weeks I start grad school.

So my un-resolutions overall are to be the best person I can be to be the best wife, mother, dog mother, student, etc. I'm doing this for me.  I'm going to try and be healthier, but that's always the goal, isn't it?  We took a step in that direction by purchasing a half of a cow and throwing it [with ridiculously pregnancy inspired organized fashion] in the most glorious and HUGE deep freeze we could buy.  I reasoned with Justin we needed a huge freezer because I plan on producing a lot of boob juice.  I'd like to start a backyard garden this year not only to be self-sufficient and try and save money on vegetables, but also to encourage myself to be outside in the sun to help myself and Ollie soak up some vitamin D.  We're getting a beautiful stroller with off road tires so that we can go on walks with our stripy pit bull both on our street and on the amazing trails by our house.  I've had such a hard time being positive that I'm going to try and see the best in situations instead of my normal drama queen meltdowns.  That one will require years of work, Rome wasn't built in a day...

This year will be hard.  No doubt about that.  The first month not being allowed to work.  Sitting at home trying not to be depressed about being bored.  Then finishing up a hard pregnancy and dealing with the sure exhaustion that comes with being new parents.  School is going to be harder than I can even imagine right now, especially with the aforementioned exhaustion.  Pathophysiology is no joke.  That being said, I'm ready.  I feel I've mentally prepared for what's ahead as much as possible and the rest of it is just going to be a complete leap of faith.  Let's do this 2014.

weekend

How is it that weekends go by so fast?  I swear yesterday was just Friday and now it's already Monday.  Damn.  We drove up to Alexandria for a wedding this weekend [7 hours from here].  Despite all the driving, and the soreness that I have today, it was nice to see my whole family.  The brothers brought their girls.  We ate a lot of junk.  And we all stayed in an awesomely huge townhouse at the hotel that could accomodate all of us and had a full kitchen.  Super convenient for those of us needing gluten free food, which happens to be three of us now since Erick's girlfriend Jess thinks she has celiac disease.  She'd get the test done, but the health center at her school doesn't do it and she hasn't had time to go to a regular doctor.  Side note, she's 99% sure she has celiac disease since her twin sister also has it.

I took zero pictures of us at the wedding, which makes me mad at myself!  It was lovely seeing my favorite youth pastor from when I was in junior high and high school along with other church friends.  We're both glad to be back home, and Lady is glad to be back from the vet where we boarded her.

We stayed at my parent's house on Friday night and I got to snuggle this guy.  He's the most handsome cat I've ever met. 

I loved the centerpieces at the wedding.

I'm now 22 weeks pregnant.  18 weeks left!  I'm pretty uncomfortable and I'm sure it'll only get worse.  I can't wait to meet this little guy, or big guy by the looks of my belly...

Ze bump.  

My attempt to camouflage the bump.  Success?  Maybe.

family pictures

These were taken a few weeks ago when we went to visit Justin's family for the weekend.  I think his mom is hellbent on documenting my pregnancy through photographs.  That's fine with me.  It's fun to have these pictures.

I was 17 weeks here and I feel like you can barely see a bump at all.

Whaddya wanna bet this baby is going to be blonde with squinty eyes?

bedtime stories

Way back when I was in college.  And Justin was far away [either Montana or Wisconsin].  I stated to him one day, very matter-of-factly, "Justin, when I'm pregnant, you will read out loud to my belly.  You will read Harry Potter."  Mind you at this time we were not even engaged.  But you know what they say about love.  When you know, you know.

I said this because Justin has never read Harry Potter.  I know, shocking.  I married someone who has never ready any of the Harry Potter books.  Nor has he ever seen a whole Harry Potter movie.  Me, the girl that has read every Harry Potter book at least 10 times, and many more like 20.  Any time I'm going through a trying period, or feel lonely, or bored, or just have nothing better to read, or it's a warm summer night, or the list goes on.  Harry Potter is like going home.

Two nights ago we started reading to the baby because I read that at 16 weeks, the baby can start to hear dad's voice.  Surprisingly, after he got over how weird the character's names, I think Justin started to get interested in H.P.a.t.S.S.  I'm so proud.  He'd never admit it, but I know he's going to love it.

Another huge fan of bedtime stories you ask?  Of course it's the Ladydog.  Pit bulls love being read to, apparently.  She gets her blanket and gets all snuggled in and just sighs with happiness.

over the weekend

This weekend we went to Minnesota to stock up on maternity clothes and test drive strollers.  Important stuff, you know.  We also went to eat.  Pumpkin bars, rice and beans, nachos, BLTs, blueberry pancakes.  Yum.  Needless to say, baby went through a growth spurt.

Among the shopping and eating, there was also catching up with old friends and hanging out with family.  Plus a lot of relaxing.  To end the weekend, we got to have a midwife appointment today and heard the baby's heartbeat.  It was there!  Along with a few kicks and punches.  Plus I got to ask all my off the wall questions [freeze drying my placenta, deferring on the Hepatitis B vaccine, etc.]  My midwife did not look at me like I grew another head, she supported all of my decisions.  And that's why I prefer not to see medical doctors.

Pictures from the old iPhone:

Lady and Jasper trying to get along.  Not necessarily succeeding.  

Helping little brother sew a button back on his coat.

This is my beautiful friend Ashley cuddling my other beautiful friend Kelsey's beautiful daughter.  Unfortunately, I didn't get a picture of Kels.  But how cute is little baby Addilae?

She fell asleep like this after being burped.  I must have the magic touch.  

In 6 months it'll be one of my own!  

16 week bump picture.  It's there.  Those are maternity pants.  Oh the relief!  I had no idea how uncomfortable regular pants were until I put on maternity pants.

home

Generally speaking, people refer to the places in which they live as their homes. I call my home in Dubuque "home", but I also call my parent's house and Justin's parents house "home." 

In my younger, more dramatic years[....] when distraught I'd often cry I want to go home. And that was always to this place. The A-frame log cabin on Lake Huron. Still when I dream of home, it's here majority of the time. Is that how one qualifies home? The place that you visit the most in your subconscious? 

When will it stop being my home? Where I can relax in peace. I could sit at the bottom of the steps for hours and study the logs that build these walls or watch the waves as they slowly lap against the sand. I look around its sad, gutted walls and I still see the old pictures of us when we were younger. The ghost of my parent's wedding picture hangs in the hallway until I turn to examine it. I can hear the end of the Tiger's game as I drift to sleep, until I realize it is silent downstairs. 

Even if this place won't be here for me forever, I can visit it in my mind whenever I want. Is that the same, though?

I love this picture. It looks like it was taken 30 years ago. 

The view from "my spot" at the table. 

The view of the lake from the dining room. 

Wallpaper on the ceiling people. It's a thing. 

Best mirror for plucking eyebrows or doing makeovers. Ignore my awkward face. Clearly I'm blowing a bubble with my gum. Also, Lady insisted on being a part of this. 

The view from the bottom of the stairs. Already so different from what it used to be. 

Perilous stairs. 

Map of the bay. 

Beach.

We're at the beach for the holiday loooong weekend and I'm so happy about it. This place has been a true constant in my life, although since we cleaned it out last month for the renters it's strangely impersonal and not quite right. I know there's no old cedar chests to go spelunking through for dancing outfits circa the 1940's and no moth-ball-smelling closets to explore for other various fashionable pieces from days of yore. Now it's gutted to its bare house and furniture bones. Its character largely stripped and hauled away to thrift stores, the dump, and my mother's basement. 

I still love it, but it's not the same. My arms feel a little wibbly wobbly about that. I have a hard time with change. Thank goodness there are some things about this place that will never change. Such as the way the house greets visitors with its distinct pleasantly musty smell. Or the friendly, but slightly alarming floral wallpaper in the bathroom. The sound of the waves rolling up on to the sand. And most eerily, the creaks from upstairs. There are many stories from everyone that visits about the presence of ghosts in this house. I know they're true. I'd come back to visit this place too. It's kind of nice being back at Gram and Grandpa's house with them together again. Until I think about it, and then I go back to feeling wibbly wobbly. 

PS, we aren't vegans anymore. Hooray!

weekender.

I've decided I'd like to be a professional weekender.  I would like to get paid for this position.  A cool 2 million per year would suffice just fine.  I'll need a little extra cash, you know, for all the DIY stuff I'll have time for.  With includes but is not limited to:

-Gardening

-Building furniture [with what tools....?]

-Painting

-Baking

-Inventing new recipes

-Potting plants [this is different from gardening]

And other various good ideas from pinterest.

I wouldn't mind if this job didn't include digging out plants [which we did this weekend], lawn mowing [our mower isn't self-propelled], tilling, getting attacked by bugs, and the like.

This weekend was the weekend of spiders.  We did yard work and encountered thousands of spiders. Big ones, little ones, hairy ones, ones with white bums, and I'm fairly certain, a tarantula.  Do tarantulas live in Iowa?  To top it all off, I went to put a glass in the dishwasher this morning and there was a daddy long leg spider in it.  Yuck yuck yuck.

I'm fairly certain that Justin is afraid of spiders too.  He denies it, but I know the truth.

And now let the iPhone photos of the weekend commence!

 

Can Rady has some pancakes?

Prease?

The menu for vegan week four.  We're still rocking it.  Some of us miss meat a little more than others...  Some of us might be grumpy about it.  Some of us may have even requested to go to taco bell for lunch even though that one of us hates taco bell.  Basically I'm winning at veganism.  But I've lost 10 pounds so I made this:

COWBOY CAVIAR!  And we finished it in less than 24 hours.  I expect to have gained at least two pounds from this weekend.

And finally, we got this little Lady a year ago from this weekend.  As Justin said, she seems to have adjusted just fine...  Spoiled.

around town

Today we all piled into Jeepy Jenkins [the Jeepiest of all Jeeps] and drove around to some of my favorite spots in town.  We left a few out because of my unwillingness to get ticks.  Here are a few shots.

My favorite view of town.  From the old apartment.

Looking over Dubuque from the park.

Loving the breeze.  Note: We can't roll down the window further lest the idiot jump out.

The countryside.  Lookit!  Cows!

The old homestead.

Did you notice?  My flowering crabs finally flowered.  Well, one of them anyways.

Beautiful.

a collection of photos from anniversary weekend

Here is what we did [but mostly ate] this weekend.

Wonderful.

Brisket.  I called the caterer to get the recipe.  

Also mashed potatoes and asparagus.  Let it be known; I hate asparagus.  There.  It's out.

Worst picture ever, but one of the only ones we have together from the weekend.  Also how weird does my arm look?  Whoa.

Because he looks cute in it.

Raspberry lemon bars.  

Mini golf strategy right here.

So this course you had to ride this thing across the putting green to get to your ball....?

My form.  Poor quality form right there.

Justin is much more of a professional glidey thing rider.

But not as good of a putter.  Just saying.

Feliz Cinco de Mayo.  Tacos yo.

And margaritas.  Poor Justy looks a little pale in this picture.  He caught a spring-time cold.

Holla!  Angel food cake.  Homemade.  Gluten-free.  It's gone now, and we shall mourn.

Es el fin.